Teasing The Positive Out Of A Negative Situation

The last several weeks I have been somewhat distant and less transparent/vocal in the social media world.  I just finished up my last 90 day challenge, not with the results I had hoped for but results none the less, of those I have written about in a previous post.  

For now, I feel as if I am on my back-and as Les Brown says (paraphrased), if you are on your back, your eyes are open, then you can get back up. I have been pondering my "getting back up" physically and emotionally.

For the last month I have not felt my normal, usual self.  I had a relapse of the Iritis in my right eye, I have had laser vein ablation (that was the least of my issues LOL), I developed a wicked case of what symptomatically was lateral epicondylitis (Tennis elbow) in my left elbow, and multiple and increasingly frequent aches and pains in my joints.  For example, right now my left index finger is swollen and sore and my right big toe feels like I have a cactus spine in it...I checked, nothing there.  Every joint hurts, I'm tired and I've had a headache for a month now (thought it was sinus but not).  And then there are my bowels... Because of the Iritis, my eye doctor wants me to follow up with a Rheumalologist...me I'm thinking maybe some of this is related to the side effects of the only medication I take....

Anyway I am not writing this down to complain or look for sympathy, just background information.  It is so easy to fall into a pattern of "Poor Me" or "Why Me" and get negative and depressed, I know it's easy, I am battling doing just that every day.  Instead I am focusing (refocusing when I get angst-y) on what positive I can tease out of this current temporary situation. 

I confess I am a driven person who doesn't allow pain, fatigue or illness to stop me from what I'm doing until it flattens me on my back.  I also confess that I have little tolerance for people that allow every little ache and pain to derail them from what they are doing.  In many ways I am empathetic but what I have come to realize is that the empathy I exhibit is shown but I sure as heck don't feel it.  The situation I am currently in physically is teaching me that it's ok to slow down, to not do everything, that it's ok to sometimes just cry in frustration and the fear of the unknown--but not to allow those feelings and emotions to effect my thoughts and beliefs about myself--and in this journey I can then be more authentically empathetic to others who have chronic pain or whatever.  We all go through trials in life, life wasn't meant to be easy (I'm re-reading The Road Less Traveled), it is what we take from those trials, what we allow to happen within ourselves, that determine if you move past the issue or you forever hit re-wind and stay stuck in that place. 

I was pondering my new 90 day challenge, what I should do, what would drive me.  Weight loss is always good however at this point in time I have been thinking that I am focusing too much on the number and not enough on health and wellness.  In my mind I would love to be at the gym everyday working out, building lean muscle, getting more fit-in my head I would love to run-my body doesn't cooperate at this point.  

SO  I am torn between setting goals for myself that are pushing me and that I may not reach (as in my last challenge) or to choose a goal that is pushing me a bit ( at this point a 1/2 mile walk is pushing it) that I can build on.  I am scheduled for another Vein ablation on 11/5/12 after I come back from St. Louis, I go back to the eye doctor on the 13th and he'll probably refer me to the Rheumatologist...my 90 day challenge starts tomorrow..so this is it for now and will increase/update as my physical health dictates ( struggling with how "wimpy" this challenge sounds BTW--another area to work on in my personal growth)

My Challenge begins 10/22/12 and ends 01/22/13, taking me through the holidays and all the glorious food, events and distractions of the season.  

• By 01/22/13 I will fit into size 14 jeans or smaller
• By 01/22/13 I will lose 10 pounds
• By 01.22.13 I will be exercising 5 days a week 

I will be reducing my intake of Dairy products, especially cheese and focusing on proteins and low glycemic vegetables.  I have looked at the Paleo eating and for whatever reason I 'm having problems wrapping my brain around it although I believe it would be a good way for me personally to eat considering my food allergies to Wheat and Corn.  I may incorporate this into my challenge when I understand it better. 
I will also be more consistent with my water intake, I am working on drinking a minimum of 120 oz a day.  I will also be posting more to be more accountable to what I 'm doing and what I am going through.   Feel free to follow my journey, call me out, encourage me etc. 
 ~JmF~

90 Day Challenge Wrap

Giving up is the easiest thing to do-that is what separates those who are winners, those who are successful, those who meet their challenges and goals, from those who do not.   

Never Give Up~sometimes it is easier to say, to grasp, to share the idea~and more often then not, it's a lot harder to follow through and not give up~ It is in those moments of struggle, when you look at both paths, that pivotal point ( whether it looks pivotal or not) when you make a choice and a decision-

90 Days ago I started a challenge, to lose weight, lose inches/body fat and to exercise both my body and my mind.  I usually would make a video but decided to just write it out this morning.  My challenge "officially" ends on Monday October 22~this one anyway, the joy of a 90 day challenge is that I can start all over again =D  

The last 90 days has had it's share of ups and downs emotionally, physically and financially.  I did not allow these life events to derail me for any substantial length of time~ never give up~  I did not meet my original challenge goal in it's entirety, however I did meet parts of it and regardless, I am better off today then I was in July.  

I lost an overall total of 6 pounds which was my revised goal from September, for a total weight loss of 30# since I originally started on the challenge.  I have read through and started practicing principles of 2 personal growth books and have a few more I am in process of reading. I am down  another pants size which is always great.  My exercise was not what I had planned to do, I still need to focus on that aspect of my life.  Having had surgery in the course of this challenge with another one scheduled the day I return from St. Louis, has had an impact on my exercise routine~ this is only temporary as I anticipate that the pain and discomfort are temporary and that with these procedures, the pain I experience with exercise will diminish =D

So this weekend I will take an "after photo", I took before photos but want to compare them, I am interested in seeing if I can see any difference.  I KNOW I can see a difference in my daughter, who has been doing the challenge along with me. Sometimes it's easier to see changes in other people rather then on yourself, hence why taking photos is so important~ they give you a difference perspective, I can look at the photo and be more objective rather then subjective.  

Although my challenge isn't officially over until Monday I am starting to think seriously about what my next challenge will entail.  The Challenge Showdown is over but I have found that making videos is a good way for me to keep myself accountable so I will continue to post videos and pictures of my progress.  I believe that this next challenge, which will take me through the traditionally "fattening" time of year, will focus on health, exercise and water intake.  Losing weight is great and fits into those areas for sure but focusing on it as the main "goal" is often self defeating and frustrating~  I don't want to be sick and skinny anymore then I want to be sick and overweight~ it is the health issue that is paramount~ I have been pondering my health and my goals~ maybe it's partly due to my age--50 is not far up the road, there are changes in me and in my body I don't really appreciate or like that really are awakening me to the fact that I must get my act together or I will wake up one day and wonder where my life went....

Here's to the Future!!!
~JmF~

On Relationship Building

From Marc  and Angela Hack

In Twelve Years----

People won’t remember what clothes you wore, which car you drove, and maybe not even your full name.  

But----

In Twelve Years----

They will remember how you made them feel and the positive memories you gave them.  

The true impact you make on people will depend on the time and attention you give to teaching those who know less, caring for those who have less, supporting those who are striving, and tolerating those who are different than you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I read this morning, I came across this "truth" and it made me stop and ponder why I do what I do, why I pursue the things I pursue....what drives me.....

I strive to help people, to help others better themselves, to share information and knowledge with other people so that they can have a better life if they choose.  I think that people don't always get the"WHY" I do things, it just looks like I am a workhorse and I don't always "care"--my why is good but I think I need to work on my execution of it better, to really let others know how much I care regardless of what choices they make in the end.  That is key in building relationships, as that saying goes, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care".  

I care a lot--it doesn't always come out in a way that people may find accepting...so that is why I go on, working on myself first--to be the person I would like to be around..to be mentored by....JmF